1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay"them."
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health : If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve! , get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number o! f breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
Monday, September 17, 2007
The Law of Garbage Trucks
Beware of Garbage Trucks
by David J. Pollay
How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee or coworker ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly she can get back her focus on what's important. Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened. I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck." Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did. So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck." I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore." I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish the m well, and I move on
One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best. Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about. The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? Here's my bet. You'll be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so… Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, TAKE IT!
If it changes your life , LET IT!
Nobody said it would be easy...
They just promised it would be worth it!
by David J. Pollay
How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee or coworker ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly she can get back her focus on what's important. Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened. I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck." Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did. So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck." I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore." I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish the m well, and I move on
One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best. Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about. The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? Here's my bet. You'll be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so… Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, TAKE IT!
If it changes your life , LET IT!
Nobody said it would be easy...
They just promised it would be worth it!
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Why did someone not tell me NOOOOOO!
So today was my first training day for the marathon. It was 3.5 miles of "What the hell was I thinking????"
Dude, I have stuff hurting that I was not even aware was there.
Well, Day 1 down.
Let's keep moving.
Dude, I have stuff hurting that I was not even aware was there.
Well, Day 1 down.
Let's keep moving.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Weight Watchers
Wheeeewww Hewwww. OK... Here we go. Ya'll know I love to eat and as much as my intentions mean, they rarely translate into weight loss. Now I am blessed that I do not look like I my weight, but I know the number :( .
So today, I took the first step to fixing this problem. I joined Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time.. Yes, its a word.. Anyone from the south should know its meaning.. LOL..
Wish me lots of good food and fewer pounds. I'll keep you posted on my progress.
Happy Anniversary Sorors!!!!
Happy 1 Year Anniversary to my beautiful line sister of the
2006 Raleigh Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc........
OOOOOOOO-OOOOP!
41 D.O.O.L
OOOOOOOO-OOOOP!
41 D.O.O.L
Friday, March 30, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Please just leave me.....
This is very disturbing. I have often pondered why men and WOMEN cannot deal with their internal issues and just move on at the end of a relationship. This beautiful young lady was killed, cut up and burned on a grill and there are NO REMAINS left. This is outragous.
We have all had bad relationships in our lives that caused us a lot of grief and had to really come to terms with its end. But as adults we need to be able to handle that in a adult manner. In my tenure as a single woman, I often run into to guys that get too clingy and possessive and those are key signs that this man may be a little over the top. But what happens when they never exhibit this behavior until its over?
My suggestion is JUST LEAVE ME.... To quote one of my favorite comedians........ "Self-Esteem is esteem of ONE's self... I have nothing to do with your esteem!"
May Tynesha Rest in peace!
Friday, March 23, 2007
7-Year-Old Boy Arrested, Cuffed in Baltimore MD
7-Year-Old Boy Arrested, Cuffed; Police Say He Rode Dirt Bike on Sidewalk
Friday , March 16, 2007
Baltimore police arrested a 7-year-old boy, handcuffed him, then hauled him off to the station house where they took his mug shot and fingerprints.
The youngster's offense?
He allegedly rode a dirt bike on a sidewalk.
"They scared me," Gerard Mungo Jr. told The Baltimore Examiner before breaking down in tears.
The incident brought new heat on a department already under fire for making what critics call frivolous or unnecessary arrests.
Police commissioner Leonard Hamm, although noting the city's ongoing concern about the nuisance of dirt bikes, said in a statement Thursday that the arrest of the 7-year-old "was not consistent with my philosphy of trying to solve problems in the neighborhoods."
Mayor Sheila Dixon said she intended to look into the facts behind Gerard's arrest. "As a mother and as a parent, I am bothered by it," she said. "I will get to the bottom of this."
Dinkins, who turned 7 last month, was sitting on the bike with the motor off on a sidewalk near his home in east Baltimore when an officer grabbed him by the collar and pulled him off the bike, according to his mother Kikisa Dinkins, who witnessed the arrest.
"I told them to let go of my baby," Dinkins recalled. "Since when do you pull a 7-year-old child by his neck and drag him?"
Dinkins said she called for a police supervisor to intervene, but the confrontation continued to escalate after the supervisor arrived on the scene.
"They started yelling at him, 'Do you know what you did wrong, son?"' Dinkins said. "He was so scared he ran upstairs."
Police confiscated the dirt bike and placed her son under arrest.
At the station, young Gerard was handcuffed to a bench and interrogated, before he was released to the custody of his parents.
Police spokesman Matt Jablow said an officer saw Gerard riding his dirt bike on the sidewalk.
The zero-tolerance arrest policy of former Mayor Martin O'Malley, now Maryland's governor, has become a contentious issue in Baltimore, with State's Attorney Patricia Jessamy, some judges and civil rights activists complaining such arrests occur most often in poor, black neighborhoods.
Dixon, who planned to address the arrest at a press conference Friday, took office in January promising to put aside "simplistic" approaches to crime.
Dinkins said the incident has scarred her son. "This has changed his life," she said. "He'll never be the same."
________
Come on now! 7 years old, a child. Who trains these officers gives them their badges. This is outrageous.
Friday , March 16, 2007
Baltimore police arrested a 7-year-old boy, handcuffed him, then hauled him off to the station house where they took his mug shot and fingerprints.
The youngster's offense?
He allegedly rode a dirt bike on a sidewalk.
"They scared me," Gerard Mungo Jr. told The Baltimore Examiner before breaking down in tears.
The incident brought new heat on a department already under fire for making what critics call frivolous or unnecessary arrests.
Police commissioner Leonard Hamm, although noting the city's ongoing concern about the nuisance of dirt bikes, said in a statement Thursday that the arrest of the 7-year-old "was not consistent with my philosphy of trying to solve problems in the neighborhoods."
Mayor Sheila Dixon said she intended to look into the facts behind Gerard's arrest. "As a mother and as a parent, I am bothered by it," she said. "I will get to the bottom of this."
Dinkins, who turned 7 last month, was sitting on the bike with the motor off on a sidewalk near his home in east Baltimore when an officer grabbed him by the collar and pulled him off the bike, according to his mother Kikisa Dinkins, who witnessed the arrest.
"I told them to let go of my baby," Dinkins recalled. "Since when do you pull a 7-year-old child by his neck and drag him?"
Dinkins said she called for a police supervisor to intervene, but the confrontation continued to escalate after the supervisor arrived on the scene.
"They started yelling at him, 'Do you know what you did wrong, son?"' Dinkins said. "He was so scared he ran upstairs."
Police confiscated the dirt bike and placed her son under arrest.
At the station, young Gerard was handcuffed to a bench and interrogated, before he was released to the custody of his parents.
Police spokesman Matt Jablow said an officer saw Gerard riding his dirt bike on the sidewalk.
The zero-tolerance arrest policy of former Mayor Martin O'Malley, now Maryland's governor, has become a contentious issue in Baltimore, with State's Attorney Patricia Jessamy, some judges and civil rights activists complaining such arrests occur most often in poor, black neighborhoods.
Dixon, who planned to address the arrest at a press conference Friday, took office in January promising to put aside "simplistic" approaches to crime.
Dinkins said the incident has scarred her son. "This has changed his life," she said. "He'll never be the same."
________
Come on now! 7 years old, a child. Who trains these officers gives them their badges. This is outrageous.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Running Links
Yeah.... I am still on my quest for the Marathon. I have been working out for the last month and am actually seeing some results. It was one of my very own christmas presents to myself....Seems a bit like torture to give yourself the gift of a Marathon, or training, but why not. Its an easy way to work at a more healthy lifestyle, better shape and something fun to do.
How have your resolutions served you so far this year?
If you are interested in joining me in a short run or two, check out these links for some local events.
http://www.charmcityrun.com/
http://www.runwashington.com/other/featureracesindex.html
"I Think I Love My Wife"
"
I Think I Love My Wife"
I Think I Love My Wife" Have you seen the movie? Why NOT? This movie is absolutely funny.
A friend of mine and I were having a conversation about this particular scene. It seems that most men think we try to seduce them with the cute matching panty and bra sets while we are dating, and them WHAM!!!! Hanes cotton stripes and jogging bras that match nothing.... LOL... In this scene Gina Torres was explaining to Chris Rock that her panties were comfortable, seamless and she likes the way they feel. Chris was adamant that pretty lacy thongs were the way to go...... Do we tend to put too must stock in what our unmentionables look like, do men really care? Better yet, do you, as a woman give a rats tail what men think?
Saving
Are we really this desperate? Can this girl be serious?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dear Advice Chick,
*I’m a 28 year old lady. A couple weeks ago me and my girls went to a club and I met one fine brotha! He was so nice, and said really sweet things to me all night. He said I was so pretty, and sexy, you know. Stuff like that. Yes, I had a few too many drinks and me and the brotha ended up at my crib doing the do. I apologized to him and told him I don’t usually have sex so soon. Before he left he said he understands and believes me. He also said he would call me later so we can hang out next week. That was over two weeks ago and he hasn’t called yet. I mean I understand if he doesn’t want to see me again, but why would he take my number and then not call? Believe me I just want closure on the whole thing. He probably can’t handle a lady like me anyway.
Advice Chick replies,
Da hell? A “lady” like you? What, a lady that meets a strange man at a club, takes the strange man to her home, and then has sex with the stranger within hours? You call that a lady? I’ve had one night stands in the past, and they’re anything but lady-like.
He whispered sweet nothings, got what he wanted, and bounced. He said he’d call as a “let me get the hell out of here” card. Men know what we want to hear. Closure, huh? The next time you want “closure,” CLOSE YOUR legs!
*I’m a 28 year old lady. A couple weeks ago me and my girls went to a club and I met one fine brotha! He was so nice, and said really sweet things to me all night. He said I was so pretty, and sexy, you know. Stuff like that. Yes, I had a few too many drinks and me and the brotha ended up at my crib doing the do. I apologized to him and told him I don’t usually have sex so soon. Before he left he said he understands and believes me. He also said he would call me later so we can hang out next week. That was over two weeks ago and he hasn’t called yet. I mean I understand if he doesn’t want to see me again, but why would he take my number and then not call? Believe me I just want closure on the whole thing. He probably can’t handle a lady like me anyway.
Advice Chick replies,
Da hell? A “lady” like you? What, a lady that meets a strange man at a club, takes the strange man to her home, and then has sex with the stranger within hours? You call that a lady? I’ve had one night stands in the past, and they’re anything but lady-like.
He whispered sweet nothings, got what he wanted, and bounced. He said he’d call as a “let me get the hell out of here” card. Men know what we want to hear. Closure, huh? The next time you want “closure,” CLOSE YOUR legs!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
What do you think? How quick is too quick to give up the goods?
Monday, March 05, 2007
Long 10 days......
We we have made it 10 days on my new eating pattern and I'm still alive. We now have some additions....
Breakfast
Multi Grain Cheerios with 2% milk
Lunch/Dinner Option
Salmon with Green Beans
Snack Option
Fat Free Jello
Rice Cakes
Enjoy!!!!!
OH, By the way..... Applebees has a fantastic Cajun Lime Tilapia with Corn and Black Bean salsa.... Absolutely excellent
Some Recipes!!!! Thank TW...
Spice Rubbed Grilled Tilapia with Mango and Red Onion Salsa
Serves 4
Salsa: 1 mango, chopped small
1 red pepper, chopped small
1 red onion, chopped small
1/4 cup cilantro, chopped
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
1/4 cup pineapple juice
6 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoon fresh chili pepper, chopped
Salt and pepper, to taste
2 pounds tilapia fillets
3 tablespoons olive oil
Spice Rub:
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon ground coriander
1 tablespoon paprika 1 tablespoon chili powder
1 kosher salt
1 tablespoon fresh cracked black pepper
For salsa, mix all ingredients together and set aside. Brush olive oil onto the tilapia fillets.
For the spice rub, mix all the ingredients together. Rub the spice mixture onto the oil-coated tilapia fillets.
Grill the tilapia fillets on medium heat for three to four minutes per side. Top with salsa and serve.
************************
Baked Tilapia with Tropical SalsaRecipe by Chef Yancy Erickson, Holiday Inn
Baked Tilapia with Tropical SalsaTropical Salsa
1 skinned and diced mango
1 skinned and diced avocado
1 cup diced pineapple (canned)
1/4 cup diced red pepper
1/4 cup diced red onion
1 Tbsp diced green chilies
2 Tbsp chopped cilantro
2 Tbsp lime juice
2 Tbsp olive oil
Combine mango, avocado, pineapple, red pepper, red onion, green chilies, cilantro, lime juice and olive oil. Mix and refrigerate overnight.
Bake Tilapia:
6 each 4 oz Tilapia fillets
3 Tbsp olive oil
3 Tbsp white wine
1 lemon
salt and pepper to taste
Grease baking pan with olive oil and place tilapia fillets into baking pan.Season filets with white wine, juice from one lemon and salt and pepper to taste.Bake in 350 degree oven for 16 to 18 minutes until filets are cook through. Spoon salsa over fillets and serve.
Breakfast
Multi Grain Cheerios with 2% milk
Lunch/Dinner Option
Salmon with Green Beans
Snack Option
Fat Free Jello
Rice Cakes
Enjoy!!!!!
OH, By the way..... Applebees has a fantastic Cajun Lime Tilapia with Corn and Black Bean salsa.... Absolutely excellent
Some Recipes!!!! Thank TW...
Spice Rubbed Grilled Tilapia with Mango and Red Onion Salsa
Serves 4
Salsa: 1 mango, chopped small
1 red pepper, chopped small
1 red onion, chopped small
1/4 cup cilantro, chopped
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
1/4 cup pineapple juice
6 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoon fresh chili pepper, chopped
Salt and pepper, to taste
2 pounds tilapia fillets
3 tablespoons olive oil
Spice Rub:
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon ground coriander
1 tablespoon paprika 1 tablespoon chili powder
1 kosher salt
1 tablespoon fresh cracked black pepper
For salsa, mix all ingredients together and set aside. Brush olive oil onto the tilapia fillets.
For the spice rub, mix all the ingredients together. Rub the spice mixture onto the oil-coated tilapia fillets.
Grill the tilapia fillets on medium heat for three to four minutes per side. Top with salsa and serve.
************************
Baked Tilapia with Tropical SalsaRecipe by Chef Yancy Erickson, Holiday Inn
Baked Tilapia with Tropical SalsaTropical Salsa
1 skinned and diced mango
1 skinned and diced avocado
1 cup diced pineapple (canned)
1/4 cup diced red pepper
1/4 cup diced red onion
1 Tbsp diced green chilies
2 Tbsp chopped cilantro
2 Tbsp lime juice
2 Tbsp olive oil
Combine mango, avocado, pineapple, red pepper, red onion, green chilies, cilantro, lime juice and olive oil. Mix and refrigerate overnight.
Bake Tilapia:
6 each 4 oz Tilapia fillets
3 Tbsp olive oil
3 Tbsp white wine
1 lemon
salt and pepper to taste
Grease baking pan with olive oil and place tilapia fillets into baking pan.Season filets with white wine, juice from one lemon and salt and pepper to taste.Bake in 350 degree oven for 16 to 18 minutes until filets are cook through. Spoon salsa over fillets and serve.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
My Meal Plan
OK.... For the next 10 days here is what I am suppose to eat..... Hope you find it helpful toooo.
Meal #1
Egg Whites and Wheat toast
** Egg White either from the carton or a mixture of 1 egg + 1/2 cup from carton or Boiled egg- no yolk
Meal #2
Apple or Banana with Fat Free Yogurt
Meal #3
Chicken with Veggies or Brown Rice
Meal #4
Protien Shake
** Carnation Instant Breakfast with yogurt and fruit
Meal #5
Tilapia with Salad or Veggies
Here is a link for some Tipalia recipes....
http://ag.arizona.edu/azaqua/ista/recipes.htm
Meal #1
Egg Whites and Wheat toast
** Egg White either from the carton or a mixture of 1 egg + 1/2 cup from carton or Boiled egg- no yolk
Meal #2
Apple or Banana with Fat Free Yogurt
Meal #3
Chicken with Veggies or Brown Rice
Meal #4
Protien Shake
** Carnation Instant Breakfast with yogurt and fruit
Meal #5
Tilapia with Salad or Veggies
Here is a link for some Tipalia recipes....
http://ag.arizona.edu/azaqua/ista/recipes.htm
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Sunday, February 04, 2007
When People Tell You Who they Are... Believe Them....
Wow.. How many times have you been burned by this.. You know often we all want to see the best in others even when it means we can be hurt. I have found this significantly profound in my recent time doing Internet dating... Yes, me.. Don't get me wrong, I have found a few people that I can say are good friends, some I wish I had never met and then there are those that cause me to write this entry... Oh well, such is life.
A good friend sent me this email from an article written in the Washington post.. Enjoy...
Sunday, January 28, 2007; 2:36 PM
NOTE: This essay was written by a woman interviewed by The Washington Post whose mother helps her find dates on Match.com.
Jennifer Aniston. Christie Brinkley. Sheryl Crow. Teri Hatcher. Either dumped or cheated on in a most humiliating and public way.
Every woman in the dating world has thought, "If it can happen to her, it can happen to me." While he's snoring away, we think quietly at night about what we can do to make sure it doesn't happen to us.
We respond by trying to make our stomachs flatter, our boobs bigger, our faces prettier, and our clothes tighter and more revealing. We do everything possible to please our man. You prefer French cooking? Mais oui, mon cher! You want my hair long? No problem, I'll get a hair extension. Spending part of your vacation with buddies? Go have a good time. You don't want to be with my family on Christmas? I'll see you on New Year's Eve. Is that OK or would you prefer some other time? Do you like my mani-pedi'd, spray on tanned, liposuctioned, Pilates body? Can't commit? Oh, that's right. You're just not that into me. Or her. Or her. Or her.
What the hell has happened? Three words. Match dot com. Match.com and other online dating services have given men access to thousands and thousands of women in every city who look just as great in jeans and a little black dress (the requirement in every man's profile), a smorgasbord of women each one more delicious to devour than the next.
And that awful book, He's Just Not That Into You, provides a warm blankie of an excuse for every man who just cannot commit. "Hey! He's just not that into you. Move on, sister!" While I agree with the tenant of the book to just move on to find the next one, they provide no rules to we women who will likely encounter yet another man who gorges at the table we have set for them.
We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again only to find exactly the same man in different clothes but using the same M.O. until yet again we realize he's just not that into any woman. When they finally are into making a commitment, they are well into their 40s, ready to settle down with their paunch, their bald head, and their decades of treating women poorly.
Ladies, this is what we have to look forward to unless we set up and set some ground rules of our own, to stop this awful trend that Match has fostered. It is an "oh well that didn't work out -- next!" attitude that is damaging millions of people in their 20s and 30s who could be building fulfilling, long-term relationships. We are bolting sooner and sooner if there is a lull in the conversation or the slightest hint of incompatibility, knowing that the next one will appear within a few mouse clicks.
I'm a good-looking woman with a good career. I probably have a few more jokes in my quiver, a few more laughs in my belly, and a few more paper umbrellas than most people because I am rather a positive, upbeat, happy, glass overflowing kind of person. I like men. And yet in my 30s I dated someone who, unbeknownst to me, was a practicing bi-sexual. I dated someone who hid his depression and profound anxiety for nearly a year. I dated someone who didn't tell me he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend until eight months into the relationship. I even had a blind date arranged by a "famous person's" agent who told me this "famous person" in his mid 40s wanted to meet me, only to find Jackie Mason sitting at the table. I found someone in bed with another woman who now wants to date me again. Uh, no! I dated someone who dumped me after telling me I was the love of his life because he didn't know where he was going in life. All met online; because I am too effing busy in my professional life to join a cooking class or go grocery shopping - where all the eligible bachelors are supposed to be spending their time.
I am every woman. And I am taking it upon myself to step up and demand dignity and respect for dating women of all ages.
I will remain anonymous. My name doesn't matter because I am every woman. Normal, happy, well functioning. Like you.
I call on all women in all cities to start dignified dating behavior everywhere.
It will be so simple and so liberating.
Following are some fairly simple but self-respecting dating principles for women:
Be honest about your age and size. You may think you will charm him with your dazzling personality but you're simply wasting his time and yours if you lie about your age or send him a photo that no longer looks like you.
Don't respond to winks or messages from men with no photos. If there is no photo, he is married or involved.
If he doesn't ask to meet you within a week of talking on the phone and exchanging e-mails, he is either busy serial dating or too busy working to date you.
Keep in shape and look your best but don't dress too provocatively.
Keep the date short and do not even think of sleeping with him until he is clearly nuts about you. If you jump into the sack too soon, he will not take you seriously.
Don't reveal too much, and certainly never ever discuss past relationships. Men love a mystery. Again, do not bring up your exes, reveal your dark secrets, constantly complain, or interrupt - simple stuff but amazingly ignored by women and men.
But be sure to be yourself. If you're a giving person, give. If you're into cooking, cook. If you're busy, stay busy. If you're not into sports, don't fake it. And watch your alcohol intake.
If you are interested in seeing him again, let him pick up the tab with a promise that you'll get the next one. If you're not interested, either pay half or entirely. If you're interested and he's not, let him pick up the tab or split it.
If you don't receive flowers by the fourth date, dump him. Poor hygiene, bad manners, or sloppy dress are also grounds for dismissal.
If you seek children and / or marriage, best not to discuss this until after several dates. When the subject of marriage or children is discussed, be clear that he has six months (or twelve, depending on how you feel) to decide whether or not you will be engaged. No more, no less. And then don't bring it up again. Ever. This rule is of course null and void if there is no interest in marriage from both parties.
At the six- or twelve-month mark, if he does not propose to you, you must walk away with class and dignity. Don't tell your family and friends how strong you are and then contact him every day. No contact. Move on.
Absolutely allow him to chase YOU.
Finally, the way he treats your family is very important. If he is cold, indifferent, or not eager to spend time with them, run!
A good friend sent me this email from an article written in the Washington post.. Enjoy...
Sunday, January 28, 2007; 2:36 PM
NOTE: This essay was written by a woman interviewed by The Washington Post whose mother helps her find dates on Match.com.
Jennifer Aniston. Christie Brinkley. Sheryl Crow. Teri Hatcher. Either dumped or cheated on in a most humiliating and public way.
Every woman in the dating world has thought, "If it can happen to her, it can happen to me." While he's snoring away, we think quietly at night about what we can do to make sure it doesn't happen to us.
We respond by trying to make our stomachs flatter, our boobs bigger, our faces prettier, and our clothes tighter and more revealing. We do everything possible to please our man. You prefer French cooking? Mais oui, mon cher! You want my hair long? No problem, I'll get a hair extension. Spending part of your vacation with buddies? Go have a good time. You don't want to be with my family on Christmas? I'll see you on New Year's Eve. Is that OK or would you prefer some other time? Do you like my mani-pedi'd, spray on tanned, liposuctioned, Pilates body? Can't commit? Oh, that's right. You're just not that into me. Or her. Or her. Or her.
What the hell has happened? Three words. Match dot com. Match.com and other online dating services have given men access to thousands and thousands of women in every city who look just as great in jeans and a little black dress (the requirement in every man's profile), a smorgasbord of women each one more delicious to devour than the next.
And that awful book, He's Just Not That Into You, provides a warm blankie of an excuse for every man who just cannot commit. "Hey! He's just not that into you. Move on, sister!" While I agree with the tenant of the book to just move on to find the next one, they provide no rules to we women who will likely encounter yet another man who gorges at the table we have set for them.
We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again only to find exactly the same man in different clothes but using the same M.O. until yet again we realize he's just not that into any woman. When they finally are into making a commitment, they are well into their 40s, ready to settle down with their paunch, their bald head, and their decades of treating women poorly.
Ladies, this is what we have to look forward to unless we set up and set some ground rules of our own, to stop this awful trend that Match has fostered. It is an "oh well that didn't work out -- next!" attitude that is damaging millions of people in their 20s and 30s who could be building fulfilling, long-term relationships. We are bolting sooner and sooner if there is a lull in the conversation or the slightest hint of incompatibility, knowing that the next one will appear within a few mouse clicks.
I'm a good-looking woman with a good career. I probably have a few more jokes in my quiver, a few more laughs in my belly, and a few more paper umbrellas than most people because I am rather a positive, upbeat, happy, glass overflowing kind of person. I like men. And yet in my 30s I dated someone who, unbeknownst to me, was a practicing bi-sexual. I dated someone who hid his depression and profound anxiety for nearly a year. I dated someone who didn't tell me he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend until eight months into the relationship. I even had a blind date arranged by a "famous person's" agent who told me this "famous person" in his mid 40s wanted to meet me, only to find Jackie Mason sitting at the table. I found someone in bed with another woman who now wants to date me again. Uh, no! I dated someone who dumped me after telling me I was the love of his life because he didn't know where he was going in life. All met online; because I am too effing busy in my professional life to join a cooking class or go grocery shopping - where all the eligible bachelors are supposed to be spending their time.
I am every woman. And I am taking it upon myself to step up and demand dignity and respect for dating women of all ages.
I will remain anonymous. My name doesn't matter because I am every woman. Normal, happy, well functioning. Like you.
I call on all women in all cities to start dignified dating behavior everywhere.
It will be so simple and so liberating.
Following are some fairly simple but self-respecting dating principles for women:
Be honest about your age and size. You may think you will charm him with your dazzling personality but you're simply wasting his time and yours if you lie about your age or send him a photo that no longer looks like you.
Don't respond to winks or messages from men with no photos. If there is no photo, he is married or involved.
If he doesn't ask to meet you within a week of talking on the phone and exchanging e-mails, he is either busy serial dating or too busy working to date you.
Keep in shape and look your best but don't dress too provocatively.
Keep the date short and do not even think of sleeping with him until he is clearly nuts about you. If you jump into the sack too soon, he will not take you seriously.
Don't reveal too much, and certainly never ever discuss past relationships. Men love a mystery. Again, do not bring up your exes, reveal your dark secrets, constantly complain, or interrupt - simple stuff but amazingly ignored by women and men.
But be sure to be yourself. If you're a giving person, give. If you're into cooking, cook. If you're busy, stay busy. If you're not into sports, don't fake it. And watch your alcohol intake.
If you are interested in seeing him again, let him pick up the tab with a promise that you'll get the next one. If you're not interested, either pay half or entirely. If you're interested and he's not, let him pick up the tab or split it.
If you don't receive flowers by the fourth date, dump him. Poor hygiene, bad manners, or sloppy dress are also grounds for dismissal.
If you seek children and / or marriage, best not to discuss this until after several dates. When the subject of marriage or children is discussed, be clear that he has six months (or twelve, depending on how you feel) to decide whether or not you will be engaged. No more, no less. And then don't bring it up again. Ever. This rule is of course null and void if there is no interest in marriage from both parties.
At the six- or twelve-month mark, if he does not propose to you, you must walk away with class and dignity. Don't tell your family and friends how strong you are and then contact him every day. No contact. Move on.
Absolutely allow him to chase YOU.
Finally, the way he treats your family is very important. If he is cold, indifferent, or not eager to spend time with them, run!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Happy Birthday to MEEEEEEEE!!!
Yeahhhhh!!!! It's my Birthday and I am gonna have a blast.
I'll tell ya about it later!
Monday, January 29, 2007
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