Looking for a Wife/Husband

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, noone wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%,it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach tofinding Mr./Miss. Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged whythey're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this isthe 1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partnershould never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politicallycorrect", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis forgetting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When theother ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say itagain: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You needa lot more !!! Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you'reserious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION .. 1: Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do youplan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together?You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need acommon life purpose .Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2) you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work,you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line : marry someonewho wants the same thing.

QUESTION .. 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts withthis person?This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. Thebasis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won'tget "punished" ; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts andfeelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone withwhom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honestwith yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with theperson you plan to marry.

QUESTION . 3: Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can youtest? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on aregular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves ? A teacherof mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving tobe good and do the right "; .So ask about your Significant otherwhat do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority ischaracter refinement. There are essentially two types of people in theworld: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) peoplewho are dedicated to seeking comfort . Someone whose goal in life is tobe comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the rightthing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is theability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another personpleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others orare they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this,think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do nothave to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys , taxi drivers, etc. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitudeand appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who havegiven them everything; Can you do nearly as much for them ? You can besure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat youpoorly as well.

QUESTION .. 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this personafter we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intentionof trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague ofmine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriagefor the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they arenow, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn'thave to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a littlemore with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objectiveas possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that willhelp you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, butwhen you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to findyourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework. Anotherperspective....There are some people in your life that need to be lovedfrom a distance....It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let goof or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships aroundyou. Pay attention....Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which onesencourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growthuphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain peopledo you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama ordon't really understand , know, or appreciate you? The more you seekquality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...theeasier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front rowand who should be moved to the balcony of your life. An African proverbstates, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after youmarry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitmentto someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance ,pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warningsigns. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can changesomeone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important . Doyou bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromisewith each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do youbring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt,past mistrust , past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alterthem. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If youdevelop self-esteem, spiritual discernment , and "a life"; you won'tfind yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness orresponsible for your pain. Seeking status , sex, and security are thewrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG ARE:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode asresentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain willreplace it.

Listen...... love....... learn!

Good day.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay"them."
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health : If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve! , get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number o! f breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

The Law of Garbage Trucks

Beware of Garbage Trucks
by David J. Pollay

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee or coworker ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly she can get back her focus on what's important. Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened. I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck." Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did. So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck." I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore." I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish the m well, and I move on

One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best. Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about. The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by? Here's my bet. You'll be happier. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so… Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, TAKE IT!
If it changes your life , LET IT!
Nobody said it would be easy...
They just promised it would be worth it!

Why did someone not tell me NOOOOOO!

So today was my first training day for the marathon. It was 3.5 miles of "What the hell was I thinking????"

Dude, I have stuff hurting that I was not even aware was there.

Well, Day 1 down.

Let's keep moving.

Weight Watchers

Wheeeewww Hewwww. OK... Here we go. Ya'll know I love to eat and as much as my intentions mean, they rarely translate into weight loss. Now I am blessed that I do not look like I my weight, but I know the number :( .

So today, I took the first step to fixing this problem. I joined Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time.. Yes, its a word.. Anyone from the south should know its meaning.. LOL..

Wish me lots of good food and fewer pounds. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Happy Anniversary Sorors!!!!

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to my beautiful line sister of the

2006 Raleigh Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc........






OOOOOOOO-OOOOP!



41 D.O.O.L

Today's Funny

Please just leave me.....

http://www.nbc4.com/news/11372336/detail.html

This is very disturbing. I have often pondered why men and WOMEN cannot deal with their internal issues and just move on at the end of a relationship. This beautiful young lady was killed, cut up and burned on a grill and there are NO REMAINS left. This is outragous.

We have all had bad relationships in our lives that caused us a lot of grief and had to really come to terms with its end. But as adults we need to be able to handle that in a adult manner. In my tenure as a single woman, I often run into to guys that get too clingy and possessive and those are key signs that this man may be a little over the top. But what happens when they never exhibit this behavior until its over?

My suggestion is JUST LEAVE ME.... To quote one of my favorite comedians........ "Self-Esteem is esteem of ONE's self... I have nothing to do with your esteem!"

May Tynesha Rest in peace!

7-Year-Old Boy Arrested, Cuffed in Baltimore MD

7-Year-Old Boy Arrested, Cuffed; Police Say He Rode Dirt Bike on Sidewalk
Friday , March 16, 2007

Baltimore police arrested a 7-year-old boy, handcuffed him, then hauled him off to the station house where they took his mug shot and fingerprints.

The youngster's offense?

He allegedly rode a dirt bike on a sidewalk.

"They scared me," Gerard Mungo Jr. told The Baltimore Examiner before breaking down in tears.

The incident brought new heat on a department already under fire for making what critics call frivolous or unnecessary arrests.

Police commissioner Leonard Hamm, although noting the city's ongoing concern about the nuisance of dirt bikes, said in a statement Thursday that the arrest of the 7-year-old "was not consistent with my philosphy of trying to solve problems in the neighborhoods."

Mayor Sheila Dixon said she intended to look into the facts behind Gerard's arrest. "As a mother and as a parent, I am bothered by it," she said. "I will get to the bottom of this."

Dinkins, who turned 7 last month, was sitting on the bike with the motor off on a sidewalk near his home in east Baltimore when an officer grabbed him by the collar and pulled him off the bike, according to his mother Kikisa Dinkins, who witnessed the arrest.

"I told them to let go of my baby," Dinkins recalled. "Since when do you pull a 7-year-old child by his neck and drag him?"

Dinkins said she called for a police supervisor to intervene, but the confrontation continued to escalate after the supervisor arrived on the scene.

"They started yelling at him, 'Do you know what you did wrong, son?"' Dinkins said. "He was so scared he ran upstairs."

Police confiscated the dirt bike and placed her son under arrest.

At the station, young Gerard was handcuffed to a bench and interrogated, before he was released to the custody of his parents.

Police spokesman Matt Jablow said an officer saw Gerard riding his dirt bike on the sidewalk.

The zero-tolerance arrest policy of former Mayor Martin O'Malley, now Maryland's governor, has become a contentious issue in Baltimore, with State's Attorney Patricia Jessamy, some judges and civil rights activists complaining such arrests occur most often in poor, black neighborhoods.

Dixon, who planned to address the arrest at a press conference Friday, took office in January promising to put aside "simplistic" approaches to crime.

Dinkins said the incident has scarred her son. "This has changed his life," she said. "He'll never be the same."

________

Come on now! 7 years old, a child. Who trains these officers gives them their badges. This is outrageous.

Technology Country Folk Understand

Click on the Picture to make it larger :-)

Running Links

Yeah.... I am still on my quest for the Marathon. I have been working out for the last month and am actually seeing some results. It was one of my very own christmas presents to myself....Seems a bit like torture to give yourself the gift of a Marathon, or training, but why not. Its an easy way to work at a more healthy lifestyle, better shape and something fun to do.

How have your resolutions served you so far this year?

If you are interested in joining me in a short run or two, check out these links for some local events.

http://www.charmcityrun.com/
http://www.runwashington.com/other/featureracesindex.html

Supersize Me

Supersize Me

This is a HOT MESS.... Who said Big Gurls can't move.....

TUploaded by checkmate37

"I Think I Love My Wife"

"I Think I Love My Wife"

Have you seen the movie? Why NOT? This movie is absolutely funny.

A friend of mine and I were having a conversation about this particular scene. It seems that most men think we try to seduce them with the cute matching panty and bra sets while we are dating, and them WHAM!!!! Hanes cotton stripes and jogging bras that match nothing.... LOL... In this scene Gina Torres was explaining to Chris Rock that her panties were comfortable, seamless and she likes the way they feel. Chris was adamant that pretty lacy thongs were the way to go...... Do we tend to put too must stock in what our unmentionables look like, do men really care? Better yet, do you, as a woman give a rats tail what men think?

Saving

Are we really this desperate? Can this girl be serious?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Advice Chick,
*I’m a 28 year old lady. A couple weeks ago me and my girls went to a club and I met one fine brotha! He was so nice, and said really sweet things to me all night. He said I was so pretty, and sexy, you know. Stuff like that. Yes, I had a few too many drinks and me and the brotha ended up at my crib doing the do. I apologized to him and told him I don’t usually have sex so soon. Before he left he said he understands and believes me. He also said he would call me later so we can hang out next week. That was over two weeks ago and he hasn’t called yet. I mean I understand if he doesn’t want to see me again, but why would he take my number and then not call? Believe me I just want closure on the whole thing. He probably can’t handle a lady like me anyway.
Advice Chick replies,
Da hell? A “lady” like you? What, a lady that meets a strange man at a club, takes the strange man to her home, and then has sex with the stranger within hours? You call that a lady? I’ve had one night stands in the past, and they’re anything but lady-like.
He whispered sweet nothings, got what he wanted, and bounced. He said he’d call as a “let me get the hell out of here” card. Men know what we want to hear. Closure, huh? The next time you want “closure,” CLOSE YOUR legs!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What do you think? How quick is too quick to give up the goods?

Long 10 days......

We we have made it 10 days on my new eating pattern and I'm still alive. We now have some additions....

Breakfast
Multi Grain Cheerios with 2% milk

Lunch/Dinner Option
Salmon with Green Beans

Snack Option
Fat Free Jello
Rice Cakes

Enjoy!!!!!

OH, By the way..... Applebees has a fantastic Cajun Lime Tilapia with Corn and Black Bean salsa.... Absolutely excellent

Some Recipes!!!! Thank TW...

Spice Rubbed Grilled Tilapia with Mango and Red Onion Salsa
Serves 4

Salsa: 1 mango, chopped small
1 red pepper, chopped small
1 red onion, chopped small
1/4 cup cilantro, chopped
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
1/4 cup pineapple juice
6 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoon fresh chili pepper, chopped
Salt and pepper, to taste
2 pounds tilapia fillets
3 tablespoons olive oil

Spice Rub:
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon ground coriander
1 tablespoon paprika 1 tablespoon chili powder
1 kosher salt
1 tablespoon fresh cracked black pepper

For salsa, mix all ingredients together and set aside. Brush olive oil onto the tilapia fillets.

For the spice rub, mix all the ingredients together. Rub the spice mixture onto the oil-coated tilapia fillets.

Grill the tilapia fillets on medium heat for three to four minutes per side. Top with salsa and serve.
************************

Baked Tilapia with Tropical SalsaRecipe by Chef Yancy Erickson, Holiday Inn
Baked Tilapia with Tropical SalsaTropical Salsa

1 skinned and diced mango
1 skinned and diced avocado
1 cup diced pineapple (canned)
1/4 cup diced red pepper
1/4 cup diced red onion
1 Tbsp diced green chilies
2 Tbsp chopped cilantro
2 Tbsp lime juice
2 Tbsp olive oil
Combine mango, avocado, pineapple, red pepper, red onion, green chilies, cilantro, lime juice and olive oil. Mix and refrigerate overnight.

Bake Tilapia:
6 each 4 oz Tilapia fillets
3 Tbsp olive oil
3 Tbsp white wine
1 lemon
salt and pepper to taste
Grease baking pan with olive oil and place tilapia fillets into baking pan.Season filets with white wine, juice from one lemon and salt and pepper to taste.Bake in 350 degree oven for 16 to 18 minutes until filets are cook through. Spoon salsa over fillets and serve.

My Meal Plan

OK.... For the next 10 days here is what I am suppose to eat..... Hope you find it helpful toooo.

Meal #1
Egg Whites and Wheat toast
** Egg White either from the carton or a mixture of 1 egg + 1/2 cup from carton or Boiled egg- no yolk

Meal #2
Apple or Banana with Fat Free Yogurt

Meal #3
Chicken with Veggies or Brown Rice

Meal #4
Protien Shake
** Carnation Instant Breakfast with yogurt and fruit

Meal #5
Tilapia with Salad or Veggies

Here is a link for some Tipalia recipes....
http://ag.arizona.edu/azaqua/ista/recipes.htm

Vegas Baby......

I have to share about this one when I get a free moment.....

Women are like...

When People Tell You Who they Are... Believe Them....

Wow.. How many times have you been burned by this.. You know often we all want to see the best in others even when it means we can be hurt. I have found this significantly profound in my recent time doing Internet dating... Yes, me.. Don't get me wrong, I have found a few people that I can say are good friends, some I wish I had never met and then there are those that cause me to write this entry... Oh well, such is life.

A good friend sent me this email from an article written in the Washington post.. Enjoy...

Sunday, January 28, 2007; 2:36 PM
NOTE: This essay was written by a woman interviewed by The Washington Post whose mother helps her find dates on Match.com.

Jennifer Aniston. Christie Brinkley. Sheryl Crow. Teri Hatcher. Either dumped or cheated on in a most humiliating and public way.
Every woman in the dating world has thought, "If it can happen to her, it can happen to me." While he's snoring away, we think quietly at night about what we can do to make sure it doesn't happen to us.
We respond by trying to make our stomachs flatter, our boobs bigger, our faces prettier, and our clothes tighter and more revealing. We do everything possible to please our man. You prefer French cooking? Mais oui, mon cher! You want my hair long? No problem, I'll get a hair extension. Spending part of your vacation with buddies? Go have a good time. You don't want to be with my family on Christmas? I'll see you on New Year's Eve. Is that OK or would you prefer some other time? Do you like my mani-pedi'd, spray on tanned, liposuctioned, Pilates body? Can't commit? Oh, that's right. You're just not that into me. Or her. Or her. Or her.
What the hell has happened? Three words. Match dot com. Match.com and other online dating services have given men access to thousands and thousands of women in every city who look just as great in jeans and a little black dress (the requirement in every man's profile), a smorgasbord of women each one more delicious to devour than the next.
And that awful book, He's Just Not That Into You, provides a warm blankie of an excuse for every man who just cannot commit. "Hey! He's just not that into you. Move on, sister!" While I agree with the tenant of the book to just move on to find the next one, they provide no rules to we women who will likely encounter yet another man who gorges at the table we have set for them.
We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again only to find exactly the same man in different clothes but using the same M.O. until yet again we realize he's just not that into any woman. When they finally are into making a commitment, they are well into their 40s, ready to settle down with their paunch, their bald head, and their decades of treating women poorly.
Ladies, this is what we have to look forward to unless we set up and set some ground rules of our own, to stop this awful trend that Match has fostered. It is an "oh well that didn't work out -- next!" attitude that is damaging millions of people in their 20s and 30s who could be building fulfilling, long-term relationships. We are bolting sooner and sooner if there is a lull in the conversation or the slightest hint of incompatibility, knowing that the next one will appear within a few mouse clicks.
I'm a good-looking woman with a good career. I probably have a few more jokes in my quiver, a few more laughs in my belly, and a few more paper umbrellas than most people because I am rather a positive, upbeat, happy, glass overflowing kind of person. I like men. And yet in my 30s I dated someone who, unbeknownst to me, was a practicing bi-sexual. I dated someone who hid his depression and profound anxiety for nearly a year. I dated someone who didn't tell me he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend until eight months into the relationship. I even had a blind date arranged by a "famous person's" agent who told me this "famous person" in his mid 40s wanted to meet me, only to find Jackie Mason sitting at the table. I found someone in bed with another woman who now wants to date me again. Uh, no! I dated someone who dumped me after telling me I was the love of his life because he didn't know where he was going in life. All met online; because I am too effing busy in my professional life to join a cooking class or go grocery shopping - where all the eligible bachelors are supposed to be spending their time.
I am every woman. And I am taking it upon myself to step up and demand dignity and respect for dating women of all ages.
I will remain anonymous. My name doesn't matter because I am every woman. Normal, happy, well functioning. Like you.
I call on all women in all cities to start dignified dating behavior everywhere.
It will be so simple and so liberating.
Following are some fairly simple but self-respecting dating principles for women:
Be honest about your age and size. You may think you will charm him with your dazzling personality but you're simply wasting his time and yours if you lie about your age or send him a photo that no longer looks like you.
Don't respond to winks or messages from men with no photos. If there is no photo, he is married or involved.
If he doesn't ask to meet you within a week of talking on the phone and exchanging e-mails, he is either busy serial dating or too busy working to date you.
Keep in shape and look your best but don't dress too provocatively.
Keep the date short and do not even think of sleeping with him until he is clearly nuts about you. If you jump into the sack too soon, he will not take you seriously.
Don't reveal too much, and certainly never ever discuss past relationships. Men love a mystery. Again, do not bring up your exes, reveal your dark secrets, constantly complain, or interrupt - simple stuff but amazingly ignored by women and men.
But be sure to be yourself. If you're a giving person, give. If you're into cooking, cook. If you're busy, stay busy. If you're not into sports, don't fake it. And watch your alcohol intake.
If you are interested in seeing him again, let him pick up the tab with a promise that you'll get the next one. If you're not interested, either pay half or entirely. If you're interested and he's not, let him pick up the tab or split it.
If you don't receive flowers by the fourth date, dump him. Poor hygiene, bad manners, or sloppy dress are also grounds for dismissal.
If you seek children and / or marriage, best not to discuss this until after several dates. When the subject of marriage or children is discussed, be clear that he has six months (or twelve, depending on how you feel) to decide whether or not you will be engaged. No more, no less. And then don't bring it up again. Ever. This rule is of course null and void if there is no interest in marriage from both parties.
At the six- or twelve-month mark, if he does not propose to you, you must walk away with class and dignity. Don't tell your family and friends how strong you are and then contact him every day. No contact. Move on.
Absolutely allow him to chase YOU.
Finally, the way he treats your family is very important. If he is cold, indifferent, or not eager to spend time with them, run!

Happy Birthday to MEEEEEEEE!!!

Yeahhhhh!!!! It's my Birthday and I am gonna have a blast.

I'll tell ya about it later!

Best Doormat Ever

LOL....... HAHHAHA. If you ever see this at my door, just keep it moving....

Shaunda's Favorite Things

Why should Oprah have all the fun......

Lets start with the things I never get enough of...

Flowers

• I love Calla Lillies and Roses (Red and Eskimo and Sterling), Tuplips ,Purple Iris, Cymbidium Orchids and Stargazer Lillies

Colors

• Red then Purple and Gold

Food

• Mexican, Italian, Seafood and then my own... :-) LOL...

More coming soon! Stay tuned.

Don't Leave Home Without it....

New passport requirements
In compliance with the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative, beginning January 23, 2007, all passengers traveling by air to or from the United States will be required to hold a valid passport.
This new requirement applies to all passengers, including U.S. citizens, traveling to and from Canada, Mexico, Bermuda and the Caribbean.

When planning international travel, please be sure that you are in possession of all required documents for both outbound and return flights. Remember to allow ample time for acquiring official travel documents.

For complete information on the requirements, please visit travel.state.gov.

Back in the Day.....

* Close your eyes...And go back...
*
* ....Before the Internet or PC or the MAC......
*
* ....Before semi-automatics and crack....
*
* ....Before Playstation, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even before
*Atari...
*
* ....Before cell phones, CD's, DVD's, voicemail and e-mail....
*
* ....way back.... ....way.....way.....way back.....
*
*
* I'm talkin' bout hide and seek at dusk
*
* Red light, Green light
*
* Red Rover....Red Rover.....
* Playing kickball & dodgeball until the
*first...no...second...no...third
*
* Streetlight came on
*
* Ring around the Rosie
*
* London Bridge
*
* Hot potato
*
* Hop Scotch
*
* Jump rope
*
* Duck....duck....GOOSE!!!
*
* YOU'RE IT!!
*
* Parents stood on the front porch and yelled (or whistled) for
*you to come home - no pagers or cell phones
*
* Mother May I?
*
* Hula Hoops
*
* Seeing shapes in the clouds
*
* Endless summer days and hot summer nights (no A/C) with the
*windows open
*
* The sound of crickets
*
* Running through the sprinkler
*
* Happy Meals
*
* Cereal boxes with that GREAT prize in the bottom
*
* Cracker jacks with the same thing
*
* Ice pops with 2 sticks you could break and share with a friend
* ...but wait.....there's more....
*
* Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons
*
* Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, Picture Pages, G-Force &
*He-Man, Schoolhouse Rock
*
* Watchin' Sunday morning oldies (Abbott & Costello, Three
*Stooges)
*
* Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos
*
* FONZIE.....AYYYYYYYY
*
* Playing Dukes of Hazard
*
* Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar
*
* Christmas morning
*
* Your first day of school
*
* Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
*
* Climbing trees
*
* Swinging as high as you could to try and reach the sky
*
* Getting an Ice Cream off the Good Humor Truck
*
* A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
*
* Jumpin' down the steps
*
* Jumpin' on the bed
*
* Pillow fights
*
* Sleep-overs
*
* A 13" black and white TV in your room meant you were RICH
*
* Runnin' till you were out of breath
*
* Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
*
* Being tired from PLAYING
*
* WORK: meant taking out the garbage or doing the dishes
*
* Your first crush
*
* Your first kiss (I mean the one that you kept your mouth CLOSED
*and your eyes OPEN)
*
* Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" or hangman" in
*
* The classroom, Remember that?
*
* Oh, I'm not finished yet....
*
* Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
*
* So was a swig from the hose
*
* Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars
*
* Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
*
* Class Field Trips with soggy sandwiches
*
* When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there
*
* When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance;
* and another quarter a MIRACLE
*
* When ANY parent could discipline ANY kid, or feed him, or use him
* to carry groceries...And nobody, not even the kid, thought a
*thing of it.
*
* When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were COOL
*
* When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared
*to the fate that awaited you at home.
*
* Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because
*of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.
*
* Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some
*of us are still afraid of em!
*
* Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, "Yeah, I
*remember that!"
*
*
* Well, let's keep going!!
*
* Let's go back to the time when...
*
* Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"
*
* Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
*
* "Race issues" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
*
* Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in
*"monopoly"
*
* Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening
*
* It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
*
* Being old, referred to anyone over 20. (CRAP! I'm officially
*old!)
*
* The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was
*cooties.
*
* Nobody was prettier than Mom
*
* Scrapes and bruises were kissed by mom or grandma and made
*better
*
* It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big
*people" rides at the amusement park.
*
* Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
*
* Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
*
* Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for
*giggles.
*
* The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
*
* Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon.
*
* Older siblings were your worst tormentors, but also your
*fiercest protector
*
* If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!
*
* Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown
*up" life......I TRIPLE DOG DARE YA!!!!!!

Brother Bowl 2007

History has already been made...........

The first Black coach to make it to the Superbowl.... Times 2....

The First Black coach to win the Superbowl.... It is done, don't even matter who wins.... The Coach is Black..... Absoulutely FANtastic....

Now ya'll know I have some crazy friends... but one of their friends called to say that the menu for the Superbowl should be

Collard Greens, Watermelon and Yams... I had to add the RED Kool-aid. LOL>......

Are you serious?????

Man.... Boredom is a problem. Last night I was sucked into yet another BAD reality show.... I LOVE NEW YORK.... Come on buddy! Some of these guys are either gay or true pansies.... Man, what is up with Mr. Romanace crying over everything and thugged out Chance with his bad attitude and trying to fight everyone. Man, isn't her 15 minutes over by now.... Tiffany get a real job girl and stop milking this VH1 thing. LOL.

Check it out for yourself....
http://www.vh1.com/shows/dyn/i_love_new_york/series.jhtml

Quote of the Day

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.

-- Chinese proverb

Interesting Read

- Part 1
By Dr. Les Parrott

If you ask a successful couple about the recipe for their success, you will usually receive a simple "because we are in love." But if youscratch the surface you'll find that the motivations behind romanticrelationships are far more complex. Many complicated situations and needs, some more beneficial than others, are behind the decision topursue a relationship and marriage.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Research has shown that some motivations improve a relationship's chances for success, while others reduce those chances. The reasons we have for pursuing a relationship derive from internal and external sources, and it's important to be aware that they are as much a part of your happiness as the emotions you have. I would like to briefly outline five of these negative motivations-reasons that researchers term "deficits"-that are internal in nature, which we should strive to avoid when making a decision to pursue a relationship seriously.

1. Love at first sight may seem like a reason to pursue a relationship, but it's not a good predictor of marital success. Of course, strong feelings of attraction can occur early in a relationship, but such feelings alone provide a weak foundation for a long-lasting relationship. For example, look at the many Hollywood marriages, ignited on the studio lot, that break up after only a year or two of wedded misery.

2. Rebounding also hurts chances for a relationship's longevity. It's been proven that people fall in love more easily when on the rebound. Research has shown that, after a breakup, people suffer from low self-esteem and are far less discriminating in choosing a partner because they're trying to cope with their loss. Pursuing a serious relationship while on the rebound is undesirable because the relationship occurs as a reaction to a previous partner, rather then being based on real love for your new partner.

3. Rebellion may lead some into serious mismatch when choosing a partner. For example, getting even with one's parents by choosing someone they do not like is not uncommon, but it's always costly. The truth is that parental interference increases feelings of romantic attraction between partners-social psychologists call it the "Romeo and Juliet effect." As with choosing a relationship on the rebound, the relationship formed out of rebellion is a response to someone else (one's parents), rather than to one's partner.

4. Loneliness can drive a person to make a commitment hastily. This can be especially true among the divorced and widowed. The problem with this is that lonely people will end up lonely in their relationships if there is no stronger foundation supporting the relationship. In other words, loneliness should be banished not by the form or institution shaping a relationship, but by the relationship itself.

5. Obligation sometimes substitutes for love when choosing to marry or pursue a serious relationship. Some partners become very serious because one partner feels too guilty to break the relationship off. A woman who believes that her loyal devotion and encouragement will help her partner to quit drinking and live up to his potential could also be an example of this. Such relationships frequently do not work. The helper finds that his or her partner won't change very easily, and the pitied partner comes to resent being part of a crusade.

Breaking up a relationship before things are too serious is never easy and can be quite painful. However, it is always worse to experience a painful divorce or an unhappy marriage. Whatever route you take to find the right person, it is important to make sure your reasons for pursuing a relationship that may lead to marriage contribute to the success of that relationship. Try to keep a clear head, wipe the stars from your eyes, and take the time make sure you are falling in love with a person, rather than falling in love with love itself.

Interesting HUH? What do you think?

January 13, 1913

Happy Founders Day to My Sorors of

Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

On January 13, 1913 22 visionary college educated women founded my beloved sorority, Delta Sigma Theta.


I spent my 1st founders day (weekend...LOL.. you'll see why I say that in a minute!!) where it all began!


The ladies and I enjoyed a wonderful Soror Dinner at Acadian . Then we celebrated 94 historial years and dedication with the Sorors of Alpha Chapter in a Founders day program.

We all bundled up and headed down to Fortitude. At the stoke of midnight we sang songs around Fortitude. Man we had a blast and the weather held up for us (we felt a couple of big rain drops, but we made it!)


Saturday morning we attended the Washington Area Founders Day celebration with over 1100 beautiful Sorors dressed in Red, Black or White. We were also blessed to be in the presence of the radiant 10th National President, Dr. Dorothy I. Height.


Overall, this was a fantastic weekend of celebration and rededication....

Ooooooooooooo-oooooooop My Sorors!!!!!!


Take a look at the photo album for pics from the weekend...

Founders Day 2007

#37 Checkmate, Spring 2006 Raleigh Alumnae Chapter, 41 D.O.O.L :-)

That's What Friends are For!!!!

Got this from a good girlfriend... Thought I would post for you all to enjoy :-)

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy a$$.
9. This is my oath.......I pledge it to the end. "
Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.!!!

LOL.. My Friends are funny as heck!

Cool Ish....

Ahhh. I am a fam of really cool stuff and I use my iPod daily. Check out some stuff that is coming out soon!!!!

The Apple iPhone
http://www.engadget.com/2007/01/09/the-apple-iphone/

Funny thing tho......
http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/cellphones/the-iphone-is-dead-what-will-apple-name-its-cellphone-now-222393.php

Cisco owns the Trademark for iPhone (which is actually a Linksys product). LOL..... Apple should have done their homework on this one! Ahhh.. I see my stock option $$$ flourishing :-)

Favorite Quote..

"The World will tell you who you are until you tell it!"

Ummph. What are you telling the world?

Let Life Come

What you most sincerely and fundamentally desire, you have already. Drop your shallow pretenses, and you will see.
The power and purpose you seek, are with you even now. Let go of those doubts that have become so comfortable, and you will know.
Stop seeking to classify and to judge every moment, and you'll start seeing each moment's unique treasure. Let life come to you with whatever it brings, and you'll find it bringing more value than you could ever desire.
Those dreams that fill you with joy are no mere illusions. They point to who you truly are.
Those dreams are as real as you allow them to be. Allow them to live at the front of your awareness today.
Right now the richness of life is all around you. Let it carry you along with peace and joy and fulfillment and love.
-- Ralph Marston

Wow.. This was pretty powerful. We often spend lots of time looking for the next big thing to happen and miss enjoying the greatness that we have in front of us. I have spent a great deal of time waiting to do things in my life beacuse of other people. Fortunately for me, I learned this lesson quick before I let life continue to pass me by.

Three most important things that I have begun to do in the past year that help me to enjoy Life as it Comes are:

1. Enjoy time with my friends and family in the moment.
2. Learn to accept people in their place and not to change them knowing that we are all growing at different rates.
3. Love time with myself, life does not stop just because you are Single!!!! :-)

What are your thoughts?

Education is Key .. Beauty and the Geek!

WOW.... This is for my friend Ayo! :-) I got sucked into watching Beauty and the Geek on the new CW last night. First of all, you all know there will be to token black girl on these reality shows..... at least one! Well, true to form, there she was. A model, very pretty, but dumb as a box of rocks! Wheeeewwwww... She definitely made me realize why I tutor and mentor young ladies in my community. Dayum!


So here were the challenges from last night..

1. Locate 3 books in the library using the Dewey Decimal system.


2. Read the book Freakonomics, a magazine and a newspaper.

Problem #1

Tori could not locate the 3 needed books. She had no idea how to use the Dewey decimal system or what those little numbers meant. WOW.... So she breaks down crying.. WHAT. Chic, get a grip!

Problem #2

The challenge they were preparing for was the role of the News Anchor. They were to read off the TelePrompter and interview a guest. Yeah, you see this one coming... the guest was Stephen J Dubner, one of the authors of Freakonomis. Well, Ms. Tori decided to get some rest and blew off the preparation for the task. She did not read a note, article or the book jacket. Mannnn... I was holding out hope. I figured maybe she had a little sense and knew something. NOTTTTT! When she got to the studio and found out what she was to do, OH yeah!!! She started scanning the book. Chic found one key word somewhere in the middle of the book and stayed on it.. Parenting.. What the hell! This was not a book about raising kids. LOL. Needless to say, they did not win the challenge.

Well, now they are up for elimination and one last time for your girl to shine :-) They have to take part in a quiz. Two questions, easy as hell to a normal person. Not so easy for Tori. Oh yeah, you know I am gonna give you the questions...

1. In what year is the next presidential election to be held?


2. On Wall Street, what does the initials NYSE stand for?

Her answers.......

1. November 2006 -- Well, now we know she does not vote for presidents....


2. Uh.. I don't know. I was thinking National something !?! -- WTF. Seriously people!

Needless to say.........

Tori & Sanjay

Bible or Quran?

I found an interesting article on the USAToday website.

WASHINGTON (AP) — Rep.-elect Keith Ellison, the first Muslim elected to Congress, will use a Quran once owned by Thomas Jefferson during his ceremonial swearing-in Thursday.
The chief of the Library of Congress' rare book and special collections division, Mark Dimunation, will walk the Quran across the street to the Capitol and then walk it back after the ceremony.
Ellison, D-Minn., contacted the library about the book last month, Dimunation said.
Some critics have argued that only a Bible should be used for the swearing-in. Last month, Virginia Rep. Virgil Goode, R-Va., warned that unless immigration is tightened, "many more Muslims" will be elected and follow Ellison's lead. Ellison was born in Detroit and converted to Islam in college.
Ellison spokesman Rick Jauert said the new congressman "wants this to be a special day, and using Thomas Jefferson's Quran makes it even more special."
"Jefferson's Quran dates religious tolerance to the founders of our country," he added.
An English translation of the Arabic, it was published in 1764 in London, a later printing of one originally published in 1734.
"This is considered the text that shaped Europe's understanding of the Quran," Dimunation said.
It was acquired in 1815 as part of a 6,400-volume collection that Jefferson sold for $24,000, to replace the congressional library that had been burned by British troops the year before, in the War of 1812.
"It was a real bargain," Dimunation said.

So what do you think? Should newly elected reps be allowed to use the Quran over the Bible?

Ouchhhhh!! That Hurts!

Iits official... I started my quest for the Marathon last night. My first stop was a new pair of running shoes. I found this great store with knowledgeable staff and good customer service..Anyone that knows me will tell you I value my money and will NOT spend it where I get poor service. NOT happening! But anyway. If you are in search of a good shoe, check out

http://www.runpacers.com/

So after trying on about 4 pair and getting fitted (again) for a shoe.... the sales guy had to give me props for knowing what I needed. (New Balance Stability Control :-))

New Balance 757

You'll remember that I trained for The Breast Cancer 3 Day two years ago (60 miles in 3 days) and went through this process then. After aching feet and blisters I found that New Balance was the best shoe in the world for my feet! So why change now. LOL....

Well, off to the gym. Yes people I said the GYM... No, I did not just join :-) But you could tell that many have made the same New Years Resolution. LOL.. I have taken this Powerflex Class before and it is awesome for toning, but danggggg..... I am paying for it right now! I think my muscles forgot that I had actually been to the class before. (Ummm.. yeah it has been about a month since I was last there.,... but that is not the point!)

Anyway, have a great day and I'll have an Aleve :-)

New Years Resolutions....

So, how many more people are gonna ask me what they are? :LOL.... Are they gonna make it past January or heck, even last one week.... Well here they are.. I guess I will have to be accountable for them after I tell you huh?!?





Personal:

1. I am going to run/walk a Marathon this year! Lofty goal, YES, but I think I can do it. Stay tuned for more details...

Professional:

1. Get my CISSP and CCSP certifications


2. Challenge myself to move to SE 2 ... Whew.. thats a lot of work.

So there you have it ladies and gents.....

I'll keep you posted!

Happy New Year!

Christmas Presents for All

Christmas Day 2006

Lots of cool gifts for all!!! Pics below...



Introducing.......

The Ford Family Elf! :-) . Now I know ya'll all have one in your family.... You touch a gift until she gives it to you!

Ms. April

Grandma

Deb with her prized gift from Monie!

Grandma and Grandpa..... You Know we can't ever make things easy... My Aunt actually taped the gift to a textbook to make the box feel heavy. LOL.... Everyone know not to give my grandmother anything OTHER than MONEY!!!! But it always helps to keep her thinking. LOL

Rita opening her gift.

Me with one of my gifts, from Aunt Deborah, but made by my Uncle John (Lil John Wood Designs)

Christmas with the Fords.....

Christmas 2006

Man I love my family. Would not trade them for anything. There are always some jokes and good fun comedy. Here are a few pics from Christmas Eve Church, Dinner and Christmas Day!

Rita

Audrey, Myself and Lewis

Rita and I .... Looking Hot in our Red Suits!!!

Rita and Lewis

************************************************************************************
The Family at Dinner! We ate welllllllll...... LOL